A few weeks ago John Stamos, aka Uncle Jesse sat down with Lauryn and Michael on The HIM & HER Show. The conversation was hilarious and if you ever wanted to know more about Lauryn and Michael this episode is for you. At one point John flips the mic and starts asking THEM all the questions.

In fact, he was recording right after his friend Bert Kreischer (the REAL Van Wilder) and made a guest appearance in his episode which you can listen to here.

And even though John really ‘tells all,’ this episode left us wanting more. He also gets into how he got his first role, the values his parents raised him with, the cutest thing ever his mom did for him, his relationship with Bob Saget and other Full House cast members, his relationship and divorce from Rebecca Romijn, dark times and tons more.

In his book If You Would Have Told Me, he tells even more. In addition, John’s memoir is filled with Hollywood stories, Hollywood names, personal friendships, love, loss and how to see the magical moments in life. It’s a must-read and also fully recommend it after listening to his podcast episode.

And just for fun, we thought we’d drop 5 fun facts about John Stamos that you’ve probably never heard before.

5 Fun Facts We Learned From The John Stamos Podcast

+ He worked in his dad’s restaurant even after he got his first big role on General Hospital.

+ He kind of tried to get the Olsen twins fired.

+ He was in the Kokomo music video for The Beach Boys.

+ He has appeared in numerous plays on Broadway.

+ He played the drums at Howard Stern’s wedding.

John is a great actor, multi-faceted and hilarious. So if you haven’t listened to this episode yet, you’re in for some laughs. Be sure to grab his new book If You Would Have Told Me for more about his childhood, journey to fame and major realness.

x, The Skinny Confidential team.

+ Get Dorit Kemsley’s exact makeup look here.

++ Check out Lauryn’s latest fashion tips.

JOHN’S FAVORITE BOOKS:

The post 5 Fun Facts We Learned From The John Stamos Podcast appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

On one of the most interesting HIM & HER episodes to date, Bryan Johnson sat down with Lauryn and Michael to discuss much more than health and wellness. It’s Bryan’s mission to give humanity the option to ‘live another day’ and slow the aging process.

You probably have heard of Bryan before. He’s the tech billionaire spending insane amounts of money on research and testing to give humans the best chance at living for a long time past their age expectancy. You may have also seen the headlines about the blood transfusion he did with his 18 year old son. Let’s just say there is way more to that story and you’ll have to listen to find out.

In the episode Bryan also talks about his upbringing and family life, how he became a tech billionaire and raised money to do the work and research he does now, how AI has evolved in the past few years, the tests and scientific processes he’s done on his biological systems, and MUCH more. Here are some of our main takeaways:

Bryan Johnson on Slowing The Aging Process and Defying Death

Depressive Thoughts:

Learning that depressive thoughts are common, and not your own. Every thought we have is the product of process and we are able to choose what to do with them. Bryan never makes a decision within the first 3 minutes of thinking about it.

How consistency won his race:

Bryan started many companies, some failed and some were successful. He emailed over 60 high-performing people for work, with no responses. Without accepting defeat, he finally began his company, Braintree which ended up being sold for 500 million dollars.

The destructive behaviors we struggle with:

Just like depressive thoughts, our minds create patterns of behavior that we think or believe leads to a happier life. Although our vices are not allowing us to live any longer, we still believe that having access to them leads to a happy life. Once we begin to take away that representation, we begin to realize that happiness comes with health and discipline.

More from Bryan:

+ He loves all the press, even the false headlines that don’t tell you the full story.

+ He lives to sleep, doesn’t sleep to live.

+ His company Blueprint is coming out with high-quality food products with the aim to rival fast food and grocery stores.

+ He is spending $2 million a year on modern technology and wellness practices.

+ His company’s goal is to give you all these studies, research and resources FOR FREE (they already are).

Be sure to listen to the full episode with Bryan Johnson here and follow him on Instagram to stay up to date on his latest research aimed at prolong the lifespan of humans. Whatever preconceived notions you have about Bryan can be left at the door. This episode is sure to clear up the way he’s perceived in the media and give you insight into his mission.

x, The Skinny Confidential team.

+ The one supplement Lauryn takes every day.

++ Lauryn’s meditation routine and how to get started.

The post Bryan Johnson on Slowing The Aging Process and Defying Death appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Did you know that around 10-25% of married couples in the US have been going through the aftermath of being cheated on?

It’s no walk in the park to get over.

It can leave you feeling angry, frustrated, and overthinking everything while your confidence feels like it’s taken a hit. 

It’s a traumatic experience and a total punch in the gut. 

But, here’s the thing… being in a constant loop of overthinking can mess with your mental health AND your future relationships. 

So, let’s break that vicious cycle, shall we? And talk about how to survive a cheater. 

Today, we’re sharing some practical tips to help you all start the healing process. 

How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On

Being cheated on is literally the worst feeling. It’s natural to feel betrayed and hurt. We can’t let that jerk of a person hold us back from living our best lives. 

They’re just not worth it.

Instead of dwelling on the past, let’s focus on the present. 

What brings you joy and fulfillment? Maybe it’s killing it at work, indulging in your hobbies, or working on personal growth. 

Whatever it may be, let’s make that our priority. And, along the way, don’t forget to practice self-care and lean on your loved ones for support. 

You deserve to be happy and loved, and by taking care of yourself and focusing on the present, you can create a bright and fulfilling future for yourself.

Now, we know it’s difficult to stop overthinking in the first place, let alone after being cheated on. 

Just know that everyone’s journey is different. So, let’s not compare ourselves to others or be too hard on ourselves. 

With a little bit of patience, self-care, and the right tools, we can start living our best lives again. That’s why it’s crucial to take steps to reduce overthinking after being cheated on and promote healing. 

Here are some tips that can help us move forward:

♡ Recognize your feelings.

It’s essential to recognize and acknowledge your feelings after being cheated on. It’s okay to feel angry, sad, or betrayed, heck, even to have intrusive thoughts. You’re human, and those emotions are valid.

Don’t try to suppress those feelings. It’ll only lead to overthinking and make the healing process longer.

So go ahead, feel your feelings, and don’t be afraid to let it out. Cry it out, scream it out, do whatever you need to do to release those emotions. It’s all part of the healing process, and you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Feel, heal and move on.

♡ Treat yourself. 

You better believe that practicing self-care is non-negotiable when it comes to dealing with the pain of being cheated on. We need to treat ourselves like the queens we are and prioritize our minds, bodies, and souls.

So, take an herbal bath, get a massage, read a new book, relax with the PINK BALLS face massager, or do whatever makes you feel good. And, don’t forget about your mental health. You could talk to a therapist, practice mindfulness or some meditation, or write in a journal.

Whatever it is, make sure you’re taking care of yourself in every way possible. You deserve to feel good and be happy, so don’t neglect yourself during this healing process.

♡ Take a breather.

Taking a break from the situation can be a game-changer when it comes to dealing with being cheated on. Whether it’s a short-term break like taking a day off work or a long-term break like going on a vacation, it’s essential to use this time to focus on ourselves and our healing process.

During this break, we can clear our minds, reduce overthinking, and prioritize our mental health. We can indulge in activities that make us happy, spend time with loved ones, or simply take some time for ourselves.

Most importantly, make sure you’re using this break to heal and come back stronger than ever. Remember, you deserve to take care of yourself and prioritize your well-being.

♡ Keep good company.

Surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive people is essential when it comes to overcoming negative thoughts and emotions. And, it can make us feel more grateful during hard times. That’s why it’s important to seek out the company of friends and family who uplift us and make us feel good about ourselves.

But listen, it’s not just about surrounding ourselves with good vibes. We also need to set boundaries and communicate our needs with those around us. Let them know how they can support us during this time and what we need from them. By doing so, we create a strong support system that helps us through the healing process. 

Just remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who make you feel good and support you through thick and thin. So, surround yourself with positivity, and don’t be afraid to communicate your needs.

♡ Set boundaries.

Alright, let’s get real here. When it comes to dealing with being cheated on, we need to set some boundaries. These boundaries can be with our ex-partner and with ourselves. It’s no surprise that you might have trust issues with the person who cheated on you. 

For instance, we might set boundaries around communication with our ex, like cutting off contact or only communicating through a third party. This helps us avoid any unnecessary drama or emotional turmoil that might come from direct contact with our ex. It can be something as simple as telling someone that you are not in the place to take any relationship advice at the moment. Or saying no to plans so you can take time for yourself.

We can’t forget about setting boundaries with ourselves too. We need to limit the amount of time we spend thinking about the situation or even stalking our ex on social media. By setting these boundaries, we can protect ourselves and our healing process. Plus, nobody has time for any extra negativity or drama.

♡ Journal, journal, journal.

Journaling is a powerful tool for processing emotions and reducing overthinking. By writing down our feelings and thoughts in a journal, we can gain some serious clarity and perspective on the situation. 

When we’re dealing with the gravity of the fact that our partner cheated, our emotions can be all over the place. One minute we’re angry, the next we’re sad, and before we know it, we’re spiraling into a frenzy of overthinking. 

But, with journaling, we can take a step back and reflect on our emotions in a more structured way. It helps us process our feelings and make sense of what we’re going through.

Grab a cute journal and good pen, and start writing down your thoughts and feelings. It’s a powerful tool for healing and gaining clarity. And who knows, you might even discover some hidden insights about yourself along the way.

♡ Get physical.

Exercise is an incredible way to release pent-up emotions and reduce stress. Not only that, but it can also help us feel more confident and empowered. The key is to find a form of exercise that we enjoy and make it a regular part of our routine.

Whether it’s yoga, running, or weightlifting, finding an exercise routine that works for you can make all the difference. Being in good physical shape is a great way to release emotions and get out any frustration we might be feeling. Plus, it’s a total confidence booster.

There’s nothing like feeling strong and capable after a good workout. Prioritize your physical health and make exercise a regular part of your routine. It’s a powerful way to take care of our mental health too. You may even discover a new passion for fitness. 

Remember, it’s important to be kind and patient with ourselves during this process. Journaling and getting our sweat on are amazing ways to reduce overthinking and promote healing. Whether you decide to stay in the relationship or not, surrounding yourself with trusted friends so you can get past it is a good idea. 

In the end, dealing with being cheated on is awful. But, with a little bit of effort and some self-love, we can overcome overthinking and reclaim our power. 

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ check out the power of setting intentions.

++ learn how to practice gratitude when times are tough.

SHOP THE POST:

The post How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

A few weeks ago Sahil Bloom was on The HIM & HER Show discussing tools and tricks that high performers use to enhance their lives. He also talked about finding your identity, changing a victim mindset, and shared his own road to health with us – going from an unhappy corporate job to finding his passion.

If you have yet to meet Sahil he is an inspirational writer and content creator who captivates millions of people every week through his social insights and biweekly newsletter, The Curiousity Chronicle. In addition, he arms his followers with tools, ideas and the framework to live high-performing, healthy and wealthy lives.

Lauryn asked Sahil to come on the blog today to share the top lessons he wishes he could tell his younger self. His lessons are a great reminder of the important things in life so if you’re into a bit of wisdom, this post is for you.

Let’s welcome Sahil Bloom to the blog.

♡♡♡

I’ve always considered myself something of an introspective individual—I try to reflect regularly on my motivations, mistakes, learnings, principles, and frameworks.

I find that the act of reflection provides value—it helps you compound on the good and scrub the bad.

With that in mind, I sat down recently to sketch out a long list of lessons of life—formed through my failures, missteps, stumbles, and successes.

My hope is that one of my learnings connects with you and positively impacts your life.

Here are 15 life lessons I wish I could tell my younger self:

No one has it all figured out.

No one knows what they want to be when they grow up. It’s comforting as a young person to know that you aren’t really supposed to “figure it out” when it comes to your future. Just focus on pointing your compass in the right direction, embracing curiosity, and getting around great people. If you do that, good things will happen.

The word “yet” will completely change your life.

“I’m not good enough” becomes “I’m not good enough…yet.” “I don’t know how to do it” becomes “I don’t know how to do it…yet.” “I’m not capable of that” becomes “I’m not capable of that…yet.” “Yet” is your one word reminder that you can achieve anything that you set your mind to. You are dynamic and capable of so much more than you realize. Embrace the “yet” and change your life.

“Less, but better” is a mantra that applies to everything.

From work to health to relationships: We don’t need to do more, we don’t need to have more. We need less, but better.

Find someone who you love doing nothing with.

Life isn’t the glamorous Instagram-worthy moments. In fact, life is mostly just sitting around doing nothing. When you find the person you love doing nothing with, you’ve found your life person.

You really have no idea what you’re capable of.

The only way to find out is to push yourself out of your comfort zone. To take that risk. To embrace that pain. Sometimes you’ll also crash and burn. But sometimes you’ll find that you were capable of much more than you ever thought possible.

Life is hard, but fortunately, you get to choose your hard.

It’s hard to build deep, meaningful relationships. It’s also hard to live on the surface with everyone. It’s hard to build the body you want. It’s also hard to see your body atrophy from lack of use. It’s hard to build a life of purpose. It’s also hard to live without one. Choose your hard.

Your daily habits show up on your face after 10 years.

When you’re young, you can get away with treating your body and mind like crap. You can eat and drink too much, sleep too little, and exercise too infrequently. But you can’t hide forever. 10 years later, your good (or bad) daily habits show up on your face. Remember this and act accordingly.

Insecurity tells, confidence shows.

People who are crushing it rarely feel a need to tell you that they’re crushing it. As a rule of thumb, if someone immediately brags about their wealth or success, it’s fair to assume the reality is likely a fraction of what they claim. The people who have really crushed it were the first to ask questions and listen, not talk about themselves. Insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet.

Identity is the real thing we’re searching for.

Everyone thinks they’re looking for money, fame, or success, but what they’re really looking for is identity. The search for identity is the common thread that connects everyone. From the athlete transitioning to a life after sports to the founder struggling after selling their company, we all want to know who we are and how we fit into the world around us. Identity is fluid—embrace it in the present, diversify to lower your risk, and then seek out new perspectives to challenge yourself along the way.

Hug your loved ones like it might be the last time you see them.

I was out for a walk with my son a few weeks ago and I heard a large crashing sound behind us. I turned and saw that a massive tree had fallen right onto the sidewalk that we had just walked on. 10 seconds later and that might have been it. Life is terrifyingly random. Hold those hugs just a little bit longer. Make the other person be the one to pull away. Hug like it might be the last time you see them. You never know when it will be.

The “good old days” are always happening right now.

“I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them.” – Andy Bernard, The Office. There is…treat every day as the good old days.

Tell your partner you love them every night before falling asleep.

Someday you’ll find the other side of the bed empty and wish you could.

Insecurity is a natural human condition.

When I was younger, I used to think that achieving some external rewards would rid me of my insecurity—that getting promoted, making more money, or winning some awards would suddenly make me feel perfectly comfortable. But I’ve come to realize that the feeling is natural. Opening up about these insecurities, rather than trying to mask them with bravado, is the key to managing their influence on our lives.

Stop trying to change people who don’t want to change.

People don’t change because we want them to—they change because they want to. If someone has consistently shown an unwillingness to change, stop trying to change them. Save your energy and move on.

Every single person you see is fighting a battle you’ll never know anything about.

Think about that before you judge anyone on the basis of some tiny sliver of information. It will help you live a more positive, empathetic life.

♡♡♡

There you have it. Simple words of wisdom relevant to everyone. If you want more be sure to listen to his episode on The HIM & HER Show and check out Sahil’s Instagram where you can get motivational tips and videos every single day. Sign up for The Curiousity Chronicle for even more tangible tools you can apply to your life, straight to your inbox.

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ 5 reasons you should get to know your human design chart.

++ check out these 10 marketing tips from Coco Mocoe.

LEARN & REFLECT:

The post 15 Lessons Sahil Bloom Wishes He Could Tell His Younger Self appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

A few weeks ago Zaza turned 4. It’s true what they say: kids grow up way too fast. The time is flying.

Anyway, you may have read my other event posts about Townes’ Winter Wonderland Sip and See, Zaza’s Pineapple Soirée, my baby shower, and our wedding. So, today we’re adding Zaza’s Eloise High Tea Party to the blog. She is obsessed with Eloise. A few months ago we took her to Eloise at the Plaza and she was in heaven so it was a no brainer for it to be the theme of her 4th birthday party.

With that, let’s get into all the details and all the people who helped make Zaza’s dreams come true.

Zaza’s Eloise High Tea Party

♡  Invitations

Once you pick your theme, the invitations are the perfect way to give your guests a taste of the party. Working with Cindy from Bliss & Bone once again, was the best experience. You know by now she has done so much for us: wedding invitations, baby shower invitations, Zaza’s birth announcement, Zaza’s birthday invites and Townes’ sip and see too. She’s incredible. She’s so creative, understands how important details are, and ALWAYS crushes it.

When our guests received the invitation they opened a gorgeous, thick envelope lined with pink bows and room service bells. Then there was a black velvet envelope embossed with a Plaza-esque crest. Then they saw a pink and white stripe invite that opens up to all the details of the party. To really bring Eloise into it we used a similar font as the book cover, black bows and little icons that just scream ‘high tea.’

Invitations really set the tone of the party and if you want an elevated invitation Bliss & Bone is your answer. They also do evites & seriously the whole situation is so streamlined & easy. Cannot recommend Cindy and her team enough.

♡ Location

We had the tea party in a private room at The Westgate Hotel. Huge shoutout to Tiffany and the whole team who paid such attention to detail and worked so closely with Brittany from Encore Events. They provided food and drinks, a projector and speaker, and set up a hot chocolate station for the kids.

♡ Decor

Because The Westgate Hotel IS a hotel, the vibe for an Eloise birthday was already set. With the help of Fancy Tables, we came up with amazing tablescapes to tie everything together. We had tall red taper candles, pink table linens, a luggage cart with pink striped wrapped gifts on it, hot pink feather boas, pink tea sets, pink glassware and themed menus at each place setting.

As soon as guest entered we had 2 big bunches of white balloons tied with a pink bow on either side.

A dress code may not count as decor, but it really enhanced the entire event. We asked for the girls/women to wear proper tea party attire and for the men to dress as butlers. Everyone put in such effort and it made the event an ‘experience.’ There was also an amazing actor dressed up as Eloise who played and sat with the kids.

♡ Food & Drinks

Before we sat down to eat, everyone enjoyed a charcuterie board by Olive and Nectar. It was a masterpeice. Almost hard to eat because you just wanted to stare at it. They are such a great company work with and they also offer grazing courses and food styling courses so you can learn how to do this yourself. I fully recommend them if you’re in Southern California.

We decided to do a set menu. We had finger sandwiches, pastries, and different kinds of tea. Of course, guests could order whatever they wanted to drink – we may have had a bit too much Champagne, but a little buzz never hurt a flea.

As I mentioned, there was was a hot chocolate station and we also had the most incredible custom cake from @cakesbymelodysd. Melody executed the vision perfectly and is so creative. Highly recommend her if you’re in the San Diego area. Not only was it incredibly gorgeous, it was delicious.

♡ Party Favors

It’s always nice to have a little something for your guests to take home to remember the event and I always love to include Taja non-toxic custom candles.

Taja is the best company to use for custom candles. I have them all around my house, I love to give them as gifts. For Zaza’s birthday we did a pineapple etched square base in kind of a frosted white. For Townes we did a frosted white with snowflake etched on it. The scent was vanilla and to say its mouthwatering is an understatement.

For this party we went for a striped base with a bow etched on the top and eucalyptus scent. All Taja candles are hand-poured with soy wax & no phthalates, parabens or synthetic dyes. Been a big fan for years and guests LOVE to take these home.

Lana is another person who I always order custom candy from. If you need inspo for any event, just go look at her Instagram @lananicoleevents. It’s a really fun way to get creative and personalize your party. It gives your event a ‘wow factor’ too. It’s such a special touch and Lana is amazing to work with. For this party we went with Zaza It’s (Cheeze-It’s), Zaza’s (Skittles), Starburst and Sour Straws. It’s nice to lay these out on display and kids can grab them and then send them home with your guests too.

♡ Party Planner

Encore Events always does such an incredible job organizing everything. They understand the vision, they get the details, they anticipate what’s needed & this party wouldn’t have gone so smoothly without Brittany and her team. As I mentioned above, they worked so well with The Westgate Hotel and any other venue we’ve used in the past. They execute my vision (I can change my mind a lot!) and understand that all the details matter.

Big thank you to Arielle Levy for the gorgeous photos that we’ll have forever. And thank you to our guests for taking part with the dress code and to the whole team for making this vision come to life.

x, Lauryn

+ tips for throwing a cocktail party at home.

++ for more on the best invitations, check out this post.

+++ shop my look here.

ELOISE PARTY DIY:

The post Zaza’s Eloise High Tea Party appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Hugh Hefner’s Widow Crystal on Playboy Mansion Secrets, Her New Book and What Hugh Was Really Like in Bed

Let’s just say the latest episode on The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER Show is pretty juicy.

Crystal Hefner sat down with Lauryn and Michael to have a very real, raw, honest conversation on what it was like being married to Hugh Hefner.

In the episode Crystal discusses her upbringing, how she got into the world of Playboy, how she came to be the wife of Hugh, the objectification and misogyny of the Playboy Mansion, how the bunnies are actually treated, and yes, what Hugh was really like in bed.

It’s as good as it sounds.

Crystal’s life journey from childhood, to the Playboy mansion to what her life is like now is worth a listen. You might even hear some dirt on your favorite celeb.

She’s just come out with a new book called Only Say Good Things where she gives us a look inside her life at Playboy and how it’s impacted her transformation in the present day. She’s now an author, self-help advocate, podcast host of Beneath the Surface where she explores self-worth, self-acceptance, health and wellness topics.

And she’s also an explant advocate. So you can hear Lauryn and her discuss the health issues she was having with 425 cc implants too. They really cover it all in this episode!

Crystal is also into clean beauty and wellness so we’ve rounded up her top favorites here for you, too.

Be sure to check out Crystal’s episode on The HIM & HER Show. And go listen to her podcast Beneath the Surface. For advice and inspiration on wellness and self-acceptance stalk her @crystalhefner too.

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ find out what we learned from Brynn Whitfield here.

++ ask yourself these 3 questions to create the life you want.

SOUNDS GOOD:

The post Hugh Hefner’s Widow Crystal on Playboy Mansion Secrets, Her New Book and What Hugh Was Really Like in Bed appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

We love Paige Desorbo and you probably do too.

You may have seen her on Winter House, Summer House and more recently Southern Charm with her boyfriend Craig Conover. You might also know her from her hilarious podcast Giggly Squad and her stylish Instagram feed.

Recently she was on the HIM & HER Show talking about how she got into reality TV, what it’s really like behind the scenes, her current (and past) relationships and….her STYLE TIPS.

Paige DeSorbo’s Style Tips and Tricks

Paige always looks put together – her outfits are on point, makeup is natural and chic and her accessories are to die for. Plus, she’s hilarious. Did you catch the episode where she told Craig he looked like a stressed out accountant? LOL.

Of course Lauryn had to ask Paige her style tips, especially for someone who doesn’t know where to start. Here’s what Paige said:

“It’s all about having really good basics and that helps you figure out your own personal style. And your style can be different every single day. One day you can go business chic the next day you can do full grunge. If you feel good in it, wear it. Who cares if it’s trendy or not.”

Simple. Easy. Makes so much sense.

We highly recommend you go stalk Paige’s Instagram. Her outfits are always on the pulse and she is all about affordability too. She even has her own show on Amazon to help guide us when it comes to Amazon fashion finds, makeup and how to put pieces together. Be sure to check it out here, and in the meantime check out our favorite Amazon fashion recs from Paige:

+ skinny belts

+ gold earrings

+ black skirt sweater set

+ chunky boots

+ woven bag

If you love Paige as much as we do, her episode is a must-listen. You’ll find out how she knew her and Craig would last, how she dresses for TV and what’s next for her and all her endeavors.

x, The Skinny Confidential team.

+ stalk these affordable fashion pieces everyone should own.

++ chic, classic outfits with a twist to spice up your outfits.

PAIGE’S PICKS:

The post Paige DeSorbo’s Style Tips and Tricks and How You Should Wear What You Want appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

EVERYONE WANTS A LARGER PLAN, RIGHT?

But really, life is full of decisions- so many forks in the road. What road to choose? It’s a question I am consistently asking myself. Should I? Or shouldn’t I?

When creating The Skinny Confidential I looked up to a bunch of people- people I still look to today. One of them is Ryan Holiday. You know I love his work so much because I’m always reading his books (his latest is so juicy, grab a copy here) & we even interviewed him on The HIM & HER Show. Anyway, Ryan wrote this article that’s about all three important decisions. In his words, “three important decisions, made early, can eliminate so much of that anguish. They can set you up to not only be successful, but put you in a position to enjoy that success. These three choices have changed my business life. But they have fulfilled what I think are the two main criteria for anyone making choices about how to run their life and work: 1) They made me money. 2) They made me happier.”

I have used these three decisions as a compass lately & I thought I would share them with you in the hopes that they will bring value into your life or business. Personally & professionally these three choices have provided me with vision. I feel clarity, if you will. I wanted to share and write this post in the hopes that it’ll get you thinking, too.

With that, let’s get into it- shall we?

3 Important Questions You Need To Ask Yourself To Create The Life You Want

Ryan’s three choices: 1.) decide your why, 2.) decide how you want to live, & 3.) decide to be OK with what others do.

You know we need to dig deep into each one. AHEM:

1.) DECIDE YOUR WHY:

I was cautioned by many people to be careful here. Be careful the WHY isn’t money. In my opinion doing something just for money is a very, VERY short-term game. There has to be something more meaningful. Something that gives purpose.

When I was bartending I worked at very exclusive, high-end bar. Many of the patrons were rich, older men. Over the 5 years I worked there, I saw money doing some very ugly things to customers. Some went broke, some went ape-shit with their ego, & some just became money-hungry assholes who sat alone night after night sipping on their Rusty Nails.

Use your why as a compass to lead you when creating your life/business. If you don’t have a concrete WHY, you will give into things that you probably wouldn’t have given into in the first place.

As Ryan Holiday says:

“Simon Sinek talks about this most famously in his TED talk of course, but it’s an old idea. Everyone needs a raison d’être. A reason for being. A stated and clear purpose. With my company, after a lot of frustration and mistakes, we finally had the talk: What the fuck are we doing this for? From that discussion an answer became clear: We only want to do work with clients we’re proud of. We want to do work that provides the freedom to pursue our individual creative projects.”

My personal recommendation is to have it written out in front of you. Look at it daily. Refer to it. Tell your friends. It holds you accountable. When I’m not being true to my WHY my best friend, Steve, calls me out. I like it like that.

My WHY is cultivating a strong community. Nothing gets me off more than like-minded women coming together sharing their tips & tricks in an unapologetic way. I like an non-judgmental space. It feels right to me.

Sometimes this means turning down huge partnerships or opportunities, evaluating my time ( as it should be spent towards building the community ), & remembering the reason I do what I do at the end of day.

& money. Money will come when you’re following your WHY. Remember this old proverb: “If you try to chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.”  – Confucius

I fucking love that one.

2.) DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE:

Let’s face it, work seeps into life. It just does. I mean if you’re having a horrible day at work, it usually sneaks into your personal life right? If not, TEACH ME YOUR WAYS. For me if something is off kilter in one area of my life, I can spot its poison in another area.

So let’s dig deep into this one: what kind of life makes you happy?

Get creative here. Write it down. Create a strategic future. List systems to get to your goals. To do lists. Habits. It’s all good stuff.

The kind of life I want to create is simple: I want freedom. Freedom to come & go as I please. Freedom to travel whenever I want. The freedom to work from anywhere, anytime. Freedom to create whatever comes to me. Freedom to DO ME.

I sure as shit don’t want to be bossed around. In fact, I was the worst employee on the planet- no really, the worst. So freedom represents a peaceful, happy life to me.

As Ryan says: “Take a quick inventory of the most enjoyable and satisfying days of your life. Now be sure that you’re working towards these, not away from them.”

If you hate 9 to 5, don’t work 9 to 5. If you hate dealing with numbers, hire out. And if you hate being around a lot of people, work from home. Whatever it is- self-awareness here is key.

So I started with a list.

I LOVE: writing, branding, creating, photography, public speaking, talking, engaging, sharing, editing, reading, moving, computers, being with my family.

I HATE: people telling me what to do, numbers, busy work, sitting, feeling suppressed, negative energy.

You get the drift.

Spend some time on this one. Write out a list of what makes you happy & a list of what makes you sad…& you guessed it: do more of what makes you happy.

3.) DECIDE TO BE OK WITH WHAT OTHERS DO:

THIS IS SOMETHING I feel a lot of us are working on.

To stay in our own lane.

Who cares if Suzy has 3 kids & runs a multi-million dollar business? And who cares if Billy just landed a magazine cover? What about Janet’s new Chanel blazer.

Wait. Hold up- who cares? How does this affect our lives? It doesn’t. Drop the judgment.

P.S. we are all a work in progress. I practice getting off social media. No scrolling for me please. I will literally catch myself before I wreck myself.

For The Skinny Confidential this means turning down partnerships, collaborations, or opportunities. Ones that would have taken my eye off the ball. I personally believe it’s for the greater good, but that doesn’t make it less hard- you know?

As Ryan says: “So what if your friend is making a ton of money, or if they just got a ton of coverage for something they did? So what if they’re working with this client or that client? Or if they just signed a deal with so and so? You’ve made your purpose clear, you’ve made your life’s priorities clear. Things will work out for you in the way that you’ve chosen–but again, only if examined in their own context. An opera singer doesn’t compare their record sales to a pop group. A sports team in turnaround doesn’t judge themselves against the best record in the league. Why the hell do you care what some braggart is doing on Facebook?”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

See? I told you you’d like him. He’s put this in perspective for me & I hope this post that includes my 3 choices will also help you to gain some clarity.

Stay in your own lane. Focus on your own shit. Go towards your goal. Who cares what everyone else is doing?

Do you. 

Every single morning I use the Hot Minute Planner to help plan out my day. I’m very strategic about what my day looks like – from meditation to the music I listen to and what goes on my to-do list. Doing this small, daily practice every day for 4 years has helped move the needle when it comes to my business, it’s helped me focus on what’s most important, and given me clarity. Highly recommend taking 5 minutes to plan out your day every night or morning.

Make your choices. Own them. Define them. & keep me updated in the process.

Would love to hear: what is your WHY? Do you have a WHY?

If you want more from Ryan Holiday you can listen to his episodes here, here, here and in this 2 part episode with Robert Greene (1 & 2).

Until next time, lauryn x

+ if you liked this post you will love this post on “ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK YOURSELF.”

++ more REALNESS here. 

SHOP THE POST:

The post 3 Important Questions You Need To Ask Yourself To Create The Life You Want appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

I have scoured the internet, talked to friends and talked to family about some of their holiday traditions so you guys can integrate some of them into your festivities. I’ve compiled a list for you BUT I would still love to know what all your favorites are. Spill everything in the comments below.

My favorite is still the Christmas Pickle, but that’s just me.

What you do is get a pickle ornament to hang in your tree on Christmas Eve, then on Christmas morning, whoever finds the pickle first will have a year of good fortune. It’s so fun & out of the box- I love it. If you have kids, or there are kids around, the first kid to find the pickle gets an extra present from Santa. Such a fun way to start Christmas morning.

I bet this is a tradition so many people do that has evolved over time into something unique for each family. So if that’s you, I NEED to know all the different ways you guys practice this tradition. Tell me everything.

Anyway, below are some beloved traditions from myself, my team and YOU.

The Skinny Confidential Community Holiday Traditions:

+ Actually, I guess my most favorite tradition is my family Christmas card photo shoot. Every year we choose a movie & reenact the poster for it so our card is like this parody of a movie. It’s always so funny- as you can see from the pic above.

+ There’s also nothing better than drinking hot toddies while wrapping presents. This is one of my favorite things that I used to do with my godparents. What’s better than getting shit done while you get a little tipsy?!

+ One of our team members, her husband and kids take a time lapse video of them decorating their tree together every year. It’s such a fun memory to look back on.

+ Matching pajamas: does it get any cuter?! A total must for a Christmas Eve movie night and magical morning.

+ a cookie swap is so fun & is a little something extra to add to a Christmas gathering with all your girlfriends. Basically, everyone bakes the same amount of cookies – recipe of their choice ( I would for sure make these )- then everyone trades so you end up with TONS of different types of cookies. This is so perfect if you do a lot of hosting or have family in town because you don’t have to spend hours & hours baking a billion different recipes.

On an Instagram post I asked you guys what your favorite holiday traditions are &, as always, you guys delivered. Seriously love this community…

@samwise.may – we always buy an ornament that reminds us of each other and exchange them on Christmas Eve!

@reneedumont – We watch A Christmas Story and drink wine every time someone tells Ralphie he will shoot his eye out.

@one.blueiris – My husband reads How The Grinch Stole Christmas while his dad plays the song on the guitar. So much fun!

@karaokeislandvacays – Singing “Last Christmas” and “Let It Snow” at every karaoke dive bar I can find.

@chandlerfcarlson – My family always does a big Italian feast on Christmas Eve! My great-grandma’s best friend was from Italy ( her name was Santa! ) so we make Italian in her honor. We do homemade pizzas ( homemade dough, sauce & meatballs ), spaghetti with homemade sauce & meatballs, salad & bread. It’s amazing.

@amandamayfoltz – Building a kickass gingerbread town!! Last year was the London bridge. This year will be New York skyline.

There are LITERALLY SO MANY MORE amazing ones. You guys have to go read them. Some are so cute & heartwarming, others are so funny & cool. Just love everything you guys come up with.

Also, so glad to hear that tons of you love The Christmas Pickle too.

Let me know your holiday traditions below, it’s always fun to have something to do together with your family.

x lauryn,

+ Be sure to check out my Favorite Things of 2023 post – that’s right, just like Oprah.

+ Check out this post on how to make Christmas morning magical for your kids.

FESTIVE HOLIDAY TRADITIONS

The post The Skinny Confidential Community Holiday Traditions appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Christmas is just around the corner.

If you celebrate Christmas, you know it’s a magical time of the year. It’s also a fucking EXPENSIVE time of the year. 

Taking the Christmas presents down a notch for some can not only save you some serious cash, but it can also bring back the true holiday spirit. Some options are: secret Santa (great for big families), doing only stockings, or a spending cap.

It can also encourage more quality time with family, the development of new and exciting traditions, and reduce stress on literally everyone involved – whether it be friends, family or co-workers. 

With this in mind, we’re sharing some practical strategies on how we can make Christmas a little less about gifts and a little more about the true meaning of the occasion. 

How To Make Christmas Not About Gifts

♡ Do a holiday cookie swap.

One fun thing to do that’s not gift oriented is a cookie swap. Get together with your girlfriends and bake a bunch of different types of cookies. Then, swap!

Everyone gets a few of each type of cookie, so you end up with an array of cookies of all varieties. (If cookies aren’t to everyone’s taste, mix it up and do any kind of festive treat. As long as everyone makes the same amount, it still works.)

We love this, because baking together is such a fun bonding experience and it also results in a lot of laughs and deep sleepover-style girl chats. 

Might we suggest these gingerbread or these almond butter cookies? YUM! Get some Christmas music going, pour some eggnog, and get to baking.

♡ Watch Christmas movies (like every night). 

Watching movies with your family or friends is another awesome way to make the holidays less about gifts. 

Instead of looking forward to the next gift-getting opportunity, everyone can look forward to spending time together watching the next film with some festive snacks.

Whether you watch movies every night with your kids or every weekend with your core group, movies are the PERFECT way to gather for the holidays with zero obligation to bring gifts.

Have everyone contribute to an ultimate holiday movie list, make a schedule, and create your dreamy holiday movie theater space. (Wintery backyard paradise or cozy indoor wonderland? YOU PICK.) If you need some movie inspo be sure to check out the Bosstick’s Christmas card tradition here.

♡ Read stories or books together. 

Christmas stories always deliver in the holiday spirit department. They always get it right, and keep the focus of the holidays not on gifts, but on togetherness and love. 

So, to let those good Christmas vibes enter your home, read lots of holiday stories. If you have kids, read a Christmas book every night and make it dreamy with flashlights, snacks, and maybe even some matching PJs. 

You could also do this with your girlfriends by hosting a Christmas book club. Pick a few short books, and meet weekly to discuss the story and meaning over some margaritas.

♡ Build a gingerbread town. 

Getting creative and making something as ridiculous as a gingerbread town is SO in the holiday spirit. 

All these silly activities remind us to slow down and focus on family and friends, instead of what we usually think of as “productive” and “important.” 

One of our reader’s family goes so hard on this tradition that they make CRAZY gingerbread structures like the London Bridge or the New York Skyline. Amazing, right?

You don’t have to be that intense, but imagine how much your family and friends would look forward to an annual gingerbread building event. 

Keep it simple or be really fucking extra, either way, have a blast and remember what it’s like to be a kid on the holidays together. 

♡ Make decorating a super big deal.

Christmas decorating can seem like a total chore when it’s sandwiched between all the holiday chaos. That time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is SO busy and can have you dreading decorating. 

If this is you, flip the switch and make decorating a big deal. In fact, make it a whole event. If you have kids, get them really amped about helping you make the whole house into a winter wonderland. 

They’ll realize the joy of being together and working on a project as a family that’s just for fun. It inspires their creativity, their sense of teamwork, and, of course, their holiday spirit.

Without kids, you could do this with your girlfriends, too. Spend a weekend hopping to and from each other’s houses putting up decorations. Maybe even grab some new decorations—we got your bougie and budget-friendly decorating ideas here. 

Bonus Tip: Make the process of finding your perfect Charlie Brown Christmas tree a big event for your family. Go real or go home, right? (Just kidding, no shame in faux Christmas tree game.)

♡ Have a creative Christmas photoshoot.

Okay, this is something Lauryn and her family does and it’s SO CUTE. As we mentioned above, they pick a movie every year and do a hilarious recreation of it for their Christmas card. 

One year they did The Usual Suspects and another year they did The Royal Tenenbaums. Both are hilarious and such a fun memory with friends or family.  

You don’t have to do something humorous necessarily, but get creative, hire a photographer or just have a friend do it, and just have fun with it. No one regrets getting their photos professionally taken. 

Your family or friend group will cherish these pictures FOREVER.

♡ Volunteer as a family or friend group. 

Volunteering is the absolute perfect way to celebrate generosity this Christmas, without buying lots of expensive gifts. 

Getting your family or friends together to go do something for the less fortunate will be humbling, fulfilling, and totally in-line with the spirit of the holidays. 

There are lots of opportunities in every community to volunteer. We recommend you find something you’re all passionate about, so you can really put your all into it and make an impact. 

Make your holiday special by making someone else’s Christmas AMAZING.

♡ Visit somewhere magical. 

Atmosphere can definitely put you in the holiday mood. Take your friends or family somewhere totally magical to celebrate Christmas this year. 

When you visit somewhere new together, the experience is the ultimate prize, not gifts. So, find somewhere that goes above and beyond for Christmas and schedule a trip.

Disney comes to mind, but you could also go skiing in Park City or see hundreds of light shows in Chicago. New York City, New Orleans, Vegas, and even Nashville all have lots of Christmas traditions and big displays. Plus, every small town neighborhood has it’s own Candy Cane Lane. Grab a hot chocolate, bundle up and roam the streets looking for lights with your loved ones.

Wherever you go, it’ll be special and memorable without any gifts required. 

♡ Come up with totally original holiday traditions. 

Original holiday traditions can make Christmas focused on exactly the stuff you want and none of the stuff you don’t. 

Of course, some people wear matching PJs on Christmas Day or do the Elf on the Shelf thing, but find something that’s totally unique to your family or friend group. 

Just think about what you want your celebration to be focused on, and build a tradition around that! You can get some inspo from The Skinny Confidential team and our readers in this post about original holiday traditions. 

(Seriously go read the original Instagram post. There were SO many cool traditions.) 

♡ Don’t overload your schedule.

If you don’t want the holiday season to be about gifts, stop packing your schedule so tight this time of year. 

It’s so easy for Christmas to just feel like an endless list of places to go, hang for a few hours, open a gift, and then move on to the next thing. 

If you really want to savor these moments, slow down, and just do what’s important. Say no to the rest. 

You won’t regret this one. Trust us!

Keep Christmas focused on what really matters.

Let us know below your favorite ways to celebrate Christmas.

Happy Holidays!

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ Learn how to throw the best holiday cocktail party.

++ If you’re after little stocking stuffer ideas, we got you. More here.

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES:

The post How To Make Christmas Not Totally About Gifts appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.