Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, mother figures, big sisters, moms-to-be and dads filling both roles.

Being a parent is no joke, but one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. It takes constant compassion, respect and education to understand our kids and how they fit into the rapidly changing world – not to mention all the planning, organizing, homework, sports, birthday parties, play dates and SNACKS.

We’d like to think it’s every mother’s dream to have a relationship with their kids that is unbreakable and built on trust, honesty and mutual respect. So when Lauryn ran into Heidi and her daughter Maddie in San Diego, she had to invite her on to talk all about their enviable mother-daughter relationship.

Heidi Dixon is a fashion influencer, stylist, wife AND, you guessed it…supermom. Her and her daughter Maddie have an admirable relationship, and after witnessing it first hand, Lauryn had to have them on the blog for Mother’s Day this year.

From how to create quality time, instilling trust and respect to appreciating all the pick ups and drop offs, Heidi is here to tell us how she created an incredible bond with her daughter and how you can do it too.

Let’s welcome Heidi to the blog.

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Motherhood, itʼs the greatest love imaginable! Everything from immense feelings of worry and guilt to an unseeable measure of failure or success. Much of which is not really in our control. Itʼs far from anything perfect and cuts deep at times because after all, it feels like a reflection of us. Thinking about what works in a parent/child relationship can be a fully loaded subject, it is circumstantial and yet, I wonder, can there be ideas that make these relationships work universally? I’ll share my thoughts on what has been a remarkable journey in shaping the mother/daughter relationship I have today.

My name is Heidi, I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood in Utah. I was raised by a single mom who climbed the government ladder, starting as a secretary in the 80s, to her retirement forty-plus years later. I had nannies who taught me how to walk, tie my shoes and say my ABCʼs. Most days, the smell of my momʼs perfume or occasional voice over the telephone was the only indication she was around. She was at work before the sun came up and preoccupied by days end. I would easily describe my mom as a strong, determined, smart, independent, very strict, logical career woman, who was an excellent cook.

She was quite loving; however, her focus was primarily on providing me the necessities one needs and then off to enjoy life. My father was a livestock investigator in Wyoming, and I saw him every summer. I was a city girl with my mom and a cowgirl with my father. I learned how to adapt and/or figure out things on my own, independently with little to no advice. I made many avoidable mistakes and didn’t have a clear idea on what I wanted or what opportunities I could have with little, to no guidance, throughout my school years.

I obviously turned out just fine, HA! But really, I share this with such honesty primarily because understanding where we come from, analyzing what shaped your life for better or worse, is key to understanding how or why you parent the way you do. Here I will share five areas on how I have created an amazing relationship with my now, fifteen-year-old daughter and a few tips on the things we love to do together.

How to Build an Unbreakable Bond Between Mother and Daughter

Time is sacrifice

Being present is not an easy task, but it is a real privilege and builds a bond from the beginning. I think that is crucial. Teaching my daughter she can come to me and how to do that with honesty was a top priority from the beginning. It has really paid off over the years. Trust builds early on in their lives and it requires your patience, time and energy. Having all the shared quality time together has brought so much understanding of who she is and who I am to her, which helps us both in the choices we make.

Finding the quality time to be together is a lifelong journey. This looks different at each stage but the most important thing at every age, is routine and dependability. Those two things make all the difference and the earlier, the better!

Tips: Talking in bed late at night at all ages. Watching Gilmore Girls (age 15) currently is our thing, so relatable and hilariously fun; other series include Emily in Paris, Succession and Project Runway. We’ve watched shows together at every age and it brings back a lot of good memories.

Build appreciation

To this day my daughter appreciates the time we have together, especially since I work too. I regularly explain how thankful I am that I can do what I do for her and what it takes for me to do it. The list is long when it comes to the things we do, giving an overall sense to this understanding will lessen the shock later when the tide changes in their direction.

Picking up and dropping her off every day from school and golf has been my thing and it’s challenging with my schedule but I make it work every day. What I know now, is there is no replacing what you get on those car rides together and tides change, the fact she drives next year, you can’t go back- it goes by way too fast!

Tips: Her sport is golf so we practice and play a lot of golf together; she made the High School Varsity team as a freshman this year and is forecasting future goals through this sport. We maintain strength in our private workouts with Kim Kelly, she is fun, upbeat and you never know how hard you’re working out! She has an online platform if you’re not local to Southern CA. Kim also provides us with supplemental help and wellness motivation to our routines. She is amazing!

Balance work

Growing up watching my mother’s commitment to her work was good for me and I was proud of the career woman she came to be. I think it’s important to embody work ethic throughout your life so they can imitate this in their future. Work ethic is the key here, just doing something that you are passionate about makes a difference, I realize that looks different for everyone.

I took a few years off work to be more focused at home. After about three years, I wanted to go back to work. Itʼs important to not feel guilty about prioritizing other things besides them, itʼs healthy to balance it out.

Tips: She earns allowance through chores. Shopping together has definitely become our thing. Currently, we stalk every TSC product Lauryn launches along with all her product suggestions, we learn so much. Lauryn is the only reason she will wear sunscreen after all the years of me trying- hallelujah! It pays to have mentors. Maddie also ice rolls every morning before her makeup routine. We love a good Sephora haul and the online “wish” lists are long. I’m lucky because as a stylist, I get to do her hair and we love getting our nails done together every two weeks.

Distractions

One topic that has more opinions than a presidential debate; Phones, screens, social media, etc. they are all a way of life now. I know we are here to teach our kids how to be responsible, decent, kind, productive humans, that don’t ruin their futures by negligence on social media.

We talk about it all, why or why not, the implications of what could be if done wrong and the opportunities if done right. Information about media is happening daily. It’s an animal that continues to morph. We look through it together, we have fun with it and we both use the examples of what you see being put out there to commentate on the impression it gives. Most likely, if they aren’t learning it from you, they are learning it from somewhere else and they all want to be part of it. I suggest starting at age-appropriate levels with different apps (you can message me if you’re curious) and keeping an eye on screen time- even adults could use less screen time. Keeping a handle on it is critical.

Tips: Browsing Instagram and social media together keeps it normal to see each other’s content. We share Instagram reels and posts daily and there is never hesitancy if I want to look at her phone. We scour the latest skincare ideas and trends, combine our skincare routines and research a million products to try.

Trust and Mutual Respect

Getting clear, like really clear, on what rules are flexible and why; and what rules are total deal breakers and why- saves time and headaches. We’ve chosen 3 “rules” that are deal breakers. They fringe on safety issues and/or (our) moral standards and these are to be absolutely respected and if not, she understands her life will, as she knows it, change. Everything else is negotiable!

Making mistakes is essential to all our growth, none of us are perfect, we need time to figure things out and someone who can be there to support us through it. So, for us when any of the other “rules” are broken we talk it out and I ask a lot of questions, giving full opportunity to tell the truth. If truth is given, consequence is typically her choice. Encouraging truth builds trust and how you handle the truth builds mutual respect.

Tips: Talking about relationships in their lives and how to navigate the intricacies of friendships starts very early. It can begin as early as third grade. Preach, teach, forecast, and repeat. I had a lot of experience in navigating three’s-a-crowd scenarios and wildly, not normal cliques at too young of an age. I am totally open to discuss if you want more info, you can message me on Instagram @heidixxon.

The greatest love imaginable is a complicated yet beautiful experience; forming these delicate bonds are the true building blocks into a connection and friendship that’s lifelong, so I end it with this last thought: Acknowledging imperfections creates authenticity and loyalty, it builds respect because you are willing to not pretend to be perfect. Consider the effects of a thoughtful apology when needed and contemplate the effects this can have for their own needed forgiveness with you. Emulating behavior keeps you in the driver seat of how they are the reflection of you. It’s one of the few ways you’ll have your hands on the steering wheel in their life and if you’re lucky, one day, they will want to be just like YOU!

Some resources I recommend: Untangled, Cory Muscara teachings and workshops, soul type quiz.

Wishing you all a Happy Motherʼs Day!! XXO

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We’re not crying, you’re crying. We hope you loved all these incredible ways to enhance your relationship with your daughter, or son, for that matter. Happy Mother’s Day to all you mother figures. Hopefully you’re spending YOUR day exactly as you want to.

Oh, and if you forgot all about Mother’s Day and need a gift ASAP, we’re here for you. The Skinny Confidential digital gift cards arrive instantly and give your amazing mom the freedom to choose whatever she wants. Win win.

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ Are you a mom running on fumes? Here’s how to look less tired.

++ 10 self-care habits to upgrade your life.

BONDING MOMENTS:

The post How to Build an Unbreakable Bond Between Mother and Daughter appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Money troubles with your partner? SAY LESS. 

Finance is one of those things that can quickly become an issue in a relationship. ESPECIALLY when you don’t see eye to eye with your significant other. 

In fact, according to tons of research studies out there (like this one, this one, and this one), money (and sex) are often the #1 reason why couples argue. Don’t think this is true? Check out these studies to see for yourself.

And we know…you’ve all heard this a million times; BUT communication is key in any relationship.

Although it’s way easier said than done, misunderstandings about finances can easily be avoided when couple’s take the time to CLEARLY communicate about their financial goals.

And no, this doesn’t mean you have to run out and get a joint bank account or make any huge life changes. There are other actionable things you can do as a couple to prevent this issue. 

So, today we’re sharing some practical tips on how to save money as a couple. As well as how to avoid future misunderstandings about financial goals and live your best coupled life.

Let’s get into it.

Money Saving Tips For Couples

♡ Educate yourself about personal finance. 

Before you can expect to achieve ANY financial goal with your partner, you need to check your own finances. Like, what is your credit score? Do you have a high credit card bill? Are you focused on saving for retirement? And down to the simplest of things: Do you have your own savings account and know how to use it?

This also includes taking account of your personal spending habits and educating yourself about personal finance in general, BEFORE you get ready to set up  a joint account with your partner.

Not sure where to start? We got you. Start here. Then, grab a couple drinks, sit down with your partner, and listen to our recent podcast episode all about finance.

♡ Discuss financial priorities.

Now, it’s time to talk about your financial goals, personally and as a couple. Are you saving for a house? Paying off student loans? Saving for retirement? Or, are you trying to save money to start a business? Whether you’re life partners, a married couple or in some other type of relationship, you need to discuss goals. 

No matter the why, it’s important to communicate your financial goals with your partner. Even more importantly, it’s important to LISTEN TO YOUR PARTNER’S FINANCIAL GOALS as well. If you plan on moving forward as a team, both partner’s goals need to be considered. 

Make a list of your personal financial priorities, and have your significant other do the same. Then, compare, decide what’s most important based on what you can afford, and make a plan from there.

This step might require sacrifices and compromises. But there’s nothing wrong with a little delayed gratification. Because saving that money and getting one step closer toward your goal is going to feel SO GOOD.

♡ Divide the bills.

It’s not the 1800’s anymore. If you’re in a serious relationship, both you and your partner should be taking responsibility for bills. In reality, you both use electricity, water, gas, etc, and so you are both responsible for these costs.

So, add up all those mutual bills, and divide them. It can be half and half. Or, the right balance for your relationship. 

♡ Share the lease. 

If you and your partner plan on living together, consider sharing the lease. Sharing a lease can save each partner SO MUCH money, as opposed to living separately and continuously commuting back and forth.

This is, of course, only a step you want to take if you’re feeling confident in the future of your relationship as a couple. 

♡ Share one car.

Ok, if you have a very different schedule than your partner, this might not be an option. But, for some people, sharing a car is totally doable and can save you a TON of money.

Instead of spending money on two gas bills, two insurance bills, and two maintenance bills, you will just have ONE of each. Then, you and your partner can simply split the lesser cost and reap all the money saving benefits. 

♡ Share subscriptions.

When it comes to subscriptions, there is almost ALWAYS a discount when you add more people to the plan (as opposed to each person paying separately). So, are there subscriptions you and your partner could share?

Think Netflix, Hulu, HBOmax, Spotify, and so on. Consider changing to a family plan, adding an extra screen, etc. to save some money – rather than continuing to pay more for a service you both use. 

♡ Create a budget for other shared expenses.

Other than standard bills and subscriptions, there are other costs associated with being in a relationship. We’re talking groceries, date nights, gifts, and even money set aside for each individual person to invest in their self-care.

So, create a mutually beneficial budget for these things. One that both parties can stick to. Even if this means choosing cheaper date night options, getting into some grocery store couponing, and/or choosing quality time over expensive gifts, you’ll be that much closer to your financial goals. 

♡ Have regular discussions about finances.

Communication is key, remember? So, if you’re serious about saving money as a couple, you need to have open discussions about finances on a regular basis.

Let your partner know if things are going well, if you incurred an additional expense, or if there is something you were hoping to invest in. The more you talk about finances, the easier it will be to stack that cash. 

♡ Hold each other accountable.

If both you and your partner are committed to the money saving game, you should take steps to hold each other accountable. This means minimal to no hidden spending, and having regular check-ins about individual spending habits.

Schedule a weekly or monthly sit down to discuss your budget and overall goals. Then, work together to create an actionable plan to achieve those goals.  A lot of people think the 50/30/20 rule works well. 50% of your income is spent on needs, 30% toward wants, 20% toward saving. Whether you do this with your separate accounts or combined income, it’s sure to get your future financial goals on track.

♡ And most importantly, be there for your partner. 

It’s important to understand that things happen. Even with open communication and a strict budget, unexpected expenses are going to come up. And when they do, couples should have a plan in place to solve the issue.

A plan that starts with open communication, reasonable expectations, and a clear path forward. Remember, teamwork. Being a team is important.

Of course, all relationships are different.

So, if one partner is willing to take on a larger responsibility because the other is working on changing jobs, getting that promotion, or building a business – that’s one thing. However, if both are expected to pull their own weight, the financial responsibility can and should be divided. 

And by the way, it’s never too late to start saving. The sooner you apply these principles, the sooner you will see positive results. Both with your finances, and your love life. 

We really hope these money saving tips come in handy for you guys and gals, so let us know in the comments below which you found helpful. And, if you have any tips to add, drop those below too.

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ Learn more of Michael’s finance tips here. 

++ The do’s and don’ts of managing finances here.

SHOP THE POST:

The post Money Saving Tips For Couples appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Hanging Eucalyptus In The Shower

THERE’S NOTHING BETTER THAN A LIFE HACK.

Personally, I love myself a life hack. Not only a life hack, but an EASY life hack.

Combined with a fab find at the farmer’s market or on Amazon, & you have yourself an ideal situation.

This hack is so easy, & so therapeutic that you’re going to want to RUN to get yourself some eucalyptus bundles asap.

All you need for this project is eucalyptus leaves & a black hair tie or rubber band. Yup that’s it. A rolling pin would also be great but if you don’t have one, it’s no big deal.

HOW TO HANG EUCALYPTUS IN THE SHOWER:

What you do is grab the fresh eucalyptus leaves- I get mine from the farmer’s market, Amazon or the grocery store (you can usually find them in the flower section), because like I said, the fresher the better. Take your leaves, grab a rolling pin or something similar ( n empty wine bottle works too) & roll it over the leaves to release the aroma.

After this, run the leaves under water to get rid of any bugs, dust or debris because you definitely don’t want that trickling down your body in the shower. (Again, this is why I like the farmer’s market if possible- no pesticides on my eucalyptus leaves thank you very much.) I run them under the water for about a minute then shake the water off.

Then, take a hair tie or rubber band & wrap it around the bottom of the leaves. Then hang it upside down & wrap the hair tie around your shower head so it hangs down under it.

If you don’t want to hang it on your shower head, you could also just fill a vase with water & the eucalyptus leaves & keep it in your shower.

Just be very careful & make sure the vase is secure on a ledge. No one wants a shattered glass situation when they’re supposed to be having a soothing shower.

Once you have the leaves attached to your shower head, every time you shower the water will trickle through them & it will create this beautiful, soothing, decongesting aromatherapy throughout your whole bathroom. It will smell like you’re at the spa.

You probably know by now that I LOVE a salt lamp night light in my bathroom. So this combined with the eucalyptus at night makes my whole bathroom feel like a bougie spa. It transports me to another place.

AND if you’re just too lazy for all of it, you can get this cordless diffuser with some eucalyptus oil and call it a day.

How Long Does Fresh Eucalyptus Last In The Shower?

You can switch the leaves out every 2 weeks. It’s so easy to change and will keep things fresh and potent, but in the best way.

Before I get in the shower, I like to let the steam go for a few minutes to get the shower nice & warm & eucalyptusy. I pop on my salt lamp night light, throw on some Parisian jazz & hop into my homemade forest. But not before I use The Skinny Confidential Butter Brush. Dry brushing is something I’ve done for years. And Butter Brush has natural, intense bristles and a silicone handle so it won’t get moldy. The morning is my favorite time to dry brush because it gives you instant energy, stimulates the lymphatic system, increases circulation, exfoliates and is so invigorating.

THEN, to really elevate your body routine, post-shower slather on your favorite body oil or moisturizer and use your Le Spoon body sculptor in the exact same way you use your dry brush. This is THE ultimate morning routine if you want to start your day ENERGIZED beyond. This combo of dry brushing and using Le Spoon has made my cellulite disappear and it feels so damn good. You’ll be addicted, in the best way ever.

Anyway, if you don’t have access to eucalyptus leaves, you can always put some eucalyptus essential oil in a spray bottle & bring it in the shower with you.

“The idea is to hang eucalyptus around your shower head, so that it’s not directly beneath the water. Instead, you want it to hang around over the shower nozzle, so you benefit from the aromatherapy without beating the plant to death after a quick shower.” source

EUCALYPTUS HEALTH BENEFITS:

+ helps with stress

+ opens sinuses

+ immediately freshens up the bathroom

+ provides a therapeutic vibe

+ helps provide clarity

+ helps fight allergies

+ helps ease nasal congestion

+ looks amazing & pretty

+ eucalyptus is known as a natural healer

The SOOTHING RELIEF. The aroma of hanging eucalyptus in your shower provides a relaxing feeling in the upper respiratory system which eases congestion & inflammation.

The STRESS RELIEF is so major for me. To be in a calming atmosphere with a delicious smell after a hectic day really transforms my anxiety into a peaceful, calming energy. AND while we’re on the subject you need to know about the best wooden bathmat. Like, no more stepping on a damp, dirty, bath mat with your husband’s pubes all over it.

Also having plants around your home is so beneficial. They purify the air, sharpen your focus & creativity, boost your mood, reduce stress & just create a cool vibe overall.

I found this idea on Pinterest. Pinterest ALWAYS hooks it up.

Alright, I feel like Martha Stewart today- don’t mean to brag. I’m gonna go hop in my eucalyptus steam shower.

x, Lauryn

+ if you want to optimize your shower game, check out this towel warmer.

++ If you liked this post, check out my hack for productivity & my hack for applying makeup.

Eucalyptus Shower Essentials:

The post Hanging Eucalyptus in the Shower For The Lazy Girl appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Last week, the one, the only Kathy Griffin was on The HIM & HER Show.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Kathy is a two-time Emmy and Grammy award-winning comedian and is in the Guinness Book of World Record for the most number of aired television specials on any network. Her years in the industry as a female comedian are impressive to say the least.

In this episode she discusses her entire career journey, from roles on The Fresh Prince of Belair and Seinfeld, to Law and Order and X-Files to navigating the challenges of being a female comedian, and addressing the gender gap in the industry.

She also gets into what it was like being neighbours with Kim and Kanye, her openness about plastic surgery at a young age, her experience with addiction and her recent diagnosis with lung cancer.

Kathy is so open and honest in this episode, even sharing what it was like having a brother who’s a pedophile and the whole Trump scandal that destroyed her career.

Kathy Griffin on Choosing Your Battles, the Trump Scandal and Surviving Cancer

Key takeaways from the show:

Kathy’s note to her younger self: Choose your battles. Some are worth it, some aren’t. You need to know your lane & know when it’s worth a fight. You can choose who you work with and you can choose to work with people who are supportive. 

What she regrets: Kathy’s known for being extremely open and honest. Her brutal honesty has led to both good and bad consequences. Some of her decisions have led to her “cancellation,” but does she regret them? She discusses how intentions can be twisted in the sphere of the public eye. 

Gender politics: The gender gap is still alive and well. It’s evolved, but the unforgiving nature when it comes to women on top vs. the men on top is palpable. Women have to work twice as hard, and are attacked twice as hard. 

Other topics discussed:

What she regrets

Being investigated by the federal government

The picture that destroyed her career

Her relationship with Donald Trump

Coming up as a female comedian

The difficulties that women face today

How feminism has evolved

Being open about plastic surgery

What she’s learned about the industry

Be sure to check out the entire episode with Kathy to hear more about her divorce, her experience with reality TV, her relationship with Joan Rivers and Prince Charles, and what she’s up to now. If you’ve already listened, what was your favorite part?

HINT: She’s playing an insane amount of venues with her current show My Life on the PTSD List so check it out and see if she’s coming to play in your town soon.

And if you’re looking for a new book to read, check out Kathy’s books and all her favorites here.

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ Check out Jennifer Aniston’s favorite workout and equipment.

++ 5 fun facts we learned about John Stamos.

KATHY’S BOOKS:

The post Kathy Griffin on Choosing Your Battles, the Trump Scandal and Surviving Cancer appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Today we have Dr. John Lawrence on the blog sharing 10 of the craziest things he experiences in medical school.

If you have yet to meet Dr. Lawrence who was recently on The HIM & HER Show, he is the author of the series Playing Doctor and is in fact a doctor. In the episode he talks about surviving medical school and residency training, his best and scariest moments from practicing for 20 years and his transition to becoming a writer. He also covers issues with today’s medical system, when to take your kids to the ER and what it’s like teaching.

Lauryn is such a fan of all 3 of the Playing Doctor books that she just had to have Dr. Lawrence on the show.

Trigger warning: this post is not for the faint of heart! Your knees might buckle, you might feel faint, you might get the heebie-jeebies, you might lose your appetite. But you’ll also smile, laugh and feel relief after these short stories.

Without further ado, let’s welcome Dr. John Lawrence to the blog.

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When people ask about crazy medical stories, they often want me to jump right to removing foreign bodies from various orifices – and perhaps I will share one such event. But first, a few tales you might not have heard about in the wacky world of medicine – a mixture of the scary, kind of gross (for which I apologize) and heroic (not on my part). Here are ten that first came to mind:  

Dr. John Lawrence’s 10 Craziest Moments From Med School

OB gone wild.

Despite work hours that openly mock child labor laws, OB rotations were usually fun. You deliver babies and despite the healthcare team’s continuous battery of tests, pokes and prods, things normally go well. But when OB cases went off the tracks, for whatever reason, the entire team instantly became superhero focused on what was literally, and you don’t say this often in medicine as it sounds a bit melodramatic, a life-or-death situation. 

One night on the High-Risk OB team, while all the actual OB residents were having fun performing C-sections, I was left to check on patients in their rooms. We had one patient on bedrest whose placenta, growing like an aggressive cancer, spread through her uterus and invaded her body, called Placenta Percreta. The placenta is engorged with blood vessels – so there was a terrifying knowledge that she and her child could rapidly bleed to death. The OB/GYN, oncology and surgical teams all kept very close tabs on her. 

She had experienced several false alarms, when she felt blood might be trickling out, but she always turned out to be fine. So when she paged me that night, worried some bleeding might have started, I was not too nervous. I checked and did not see any blood. I reassured her that it was another false alarm, and hoped she had a quiet night.

Twenty minutes later she called me again. This was not a patient you accused of crying wolf. So, I trotted back to her room and turned back the blanket to re-examine between her legs. This time, against all my hopes, I saw red fluid on her bed sheets. Now, I know what blood looks like, I’m not a total bozo, and it definitely looked like blood, but I still stared at it for several seconds, needing to be absolutely certain. I was about to set off a serious beacon of alarms to a lot of people, and if I was wrong, and it was some red reflection, or a mirage from my sleep deprived resident brain playing tricks, I was going to look really stupid and then likely be exiled from the hospital.  

So I stared, hoping my eyes were deceiving me. No, it was blood. Another resident walked by at that moment, and I called for him to help me. Hospitals are pretty calm places and doctors act pretty unflappable. But in this case, we had been told to run screaming to the OR. So we did. We ran down the hall, pushing her hospital bed as fast as we could,  hollering the entire way, shouting to call and alert all the teams.

Inside the OR, many medical teams converged, and almost on cue, the floodgates opened, and blood splattered onto the tiled floor, echoing loudly like a sink overflowing with the faucet left wide open. They saved mother and baby that night and, in the process, gave her over 40 units of blood. To give you an idea, that was probably 4-5 times the amount of blood in her body to begin with. 

Trust your instincts.

One calm morning, I was working in the ER when a husband brought his wife in, saying she was feverish and not feeling well. They had just visited her doctor’s office for the same thing and been sent home after having a few tests run. But they decided to stop in our ER as she still felt sick, too sick to go home. And she looked miserable, like someone with influenza or pneumonia. Her temperature was over 104 F—high for an adult, likely signifying a serious infection. Then she started complaining of a severe headache. These symptoms were starting to sound like meningitis, an infection around the brain. Bacterial meningitis, if not treated right away, can be fatal. Then things got crazy.  

She complained that her fingers and toes were starting to hurt. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of my slow working medical brain was a memory of complexes forming in blood from an infection which could block off small blood vessels, thus causing pain. Blood tests were drawn, I did a spinal tap, sent her for a CT scan and antibiotics were started – but things kept getting worse. Her fingers and toes started turning black. She was transferred immediately to the ICU.

Turned out to be a random Strep infection (Strep Bovis) causing meningitis. It was terrifying how quickly the infection overwhelmed her from the short time between her arriving in the ER and being taken to the ICU. She lived, after a lengthy stay requiring intubation and multiple amputations. But I don’t think she would have made it if they had gone home instead of deciding to stop in the ER. 

Why we don’t take unnecessary medicines.

The Burn Unit teams treat injuries from all sorts of crazy places: lightning strikes, boiling water spills, falling into bonfires, meth lab explosions, picking up fallen power lines, you name it. But the single worst case I saw during my Burn Unit rotation was a young woman who had been treated for a common cold with a common antibiotic. Unfortunately that gratuitous medicine (antibiotics don’t treat viruses) had triggered a severe allergic reaction called toxic epidermal necrolysis syndrome (TENS). She looked like she had been dropped into a vat of boiling oil.

Inside her body, the reaction combined with intense medical care, had caused all sorts of havoc leading to multiple organ system damage. Months later I learned she needed both lungs transplanted. All for a common cold that never needed antibiotics. When patients try convincing me (sometimes yelling at me – which is not convincing whatsoever) that it wouldn’t hurt them to take an antibiotic for a cold, just in case it helps them get better faster, that’s the case I think of as I politely explain why it’s still not a good idea. 

Not everything in the ICU goes badly.

We were treating a patient in the MICU who we expected to die every day. Much like the Dread Pirate Roberts (for all you Princess Bride fans) saying he would likely kill Wesley the next day, we all expected the bizarre heart failure that was inflicting her, to kill her the next day. She looked to be several hundred years old and sported an alabaster white skin pallor that would leave ghosts envious. Every day I was pimped in front of the ICU team about what to adjust to make the balloon pump make her heart work more efficiently, and every day, after looking inept, the team agreed, it probably didn’t matter what we did, she was going to die anyway. And one day things looked dire.

We told her family to say their final farewells. But she told us she would be up dancing in the hospital the next day. I have no idea what happened, what super-smoothie she drank, but the next day, her skin was pink, she was sitting upright, looked to be only 40 years old and was transferred to the regular hospital floor the very next day. She was likely dancing the night away and we had no idea how she got better. 

Sometimes, it’s just not your time, no matter how hard you try.  

The Burn Unit could leave you dumbfounded just seeing what people can survive. Our patient-to-be, straight out of a road runner cartoon, had been rock climbing in a nearby canyon when he was struck by lightning, The high voltage blast, amongst other traumas, had stopped his heart, essentially killing him. His mostly dead body fell around 40 feet onto a rock floor. That fall shattered his spine, ribs, and many other bones. Fortunately, as all The Princess Bride fans will recall, “There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.”  The impact of slamming into the rocks however, not only broke bones, it also shocked his heart back into life! 

He took a few months to recover, but walked out with instructions from the head doctor to figure out what he was supposed to do with his life, because apparently, he must be alive for a reason. To complete the Wile E. Coyote story, years later I saw him again in an urgent care clinic, this time after he tried using a new espresso machine at home and scalded most of the skin off his hand. Apparently being a barista was not his reason to stick around. 

The most freaked out I ever felt.

It’s rare that a hospital delivery does not turn out well. There are teams of nurses, doctors, neonatal and respiratory specialists, anything you wanted, with all sorts of machines and medicines to help. But one day, working on a rural rotation, far from the big hospital with all the experienced teams, the doctor I was working with told me we had a delivery to perform. No problem. I did lots of those. I confidently took over this pregnant woman’s care and everything went great: I was speaking Spanish, telling the woman when to push as I eased the baby’s head out, and next prepared to deliver the infant’s shoulder.

But the shoulder did not appear.

I heard the rural doctor tell me to deliver the shoulder — which was exactly what I was trying to do…except the shoulder just would not come out. The baby’s head was sticking out, but that was as far as he would move. I was encountering something you read about in textbooks, called “shoulder dystocia.” But until you see it, you have no idea how scary it can be. 

The textbooks and lectures taught a protocol to follow: Apply pressure on the mothers stomach and pubic symphysis; try rotating the child; put the mother’s legs further towards her head; relatively conservative techniques to start. But with the baby being compressed, blood supply to his head was being cut off, so if things were not going well, next steps in the protocol included breaking the infants clavicle or cutting the mother’s pubic bone. OUCH! Ouch on all accounts. But less traumatic than the child dying. And I could not get the kid out. 

At this point everyone was perspiring, the doctor and I bantering instructions, the mother was crying, and my arm was deep inside her, twisting the kid, trying to get him out. But he would not budge. The doctor joined me in pulling and pushing – and finally we delivered him. But there was no breath of relief because the kid was blue and floppy. I suddenly thought that in our efforts to get him out, we had twisted and damaged his spinal cord. I just about doubled over and vomited – but instead started rapidly drying him off, warming him up, sucking mucous from his nose and throat, and willing him to breathe… and finally he came around. He was just fine.

I  however was not; I was freaked out and close to shock and wanted to quit medicine. Even though everything turned out fine, that was a serious wakeup call as to what can happen. We never forget the cases that don’t go well, and probably learn the most from them – although not exactly a point you share with patients, “It’s better for me if your care doesn’t go well.”  But every medical student or intern I taught received a lecture on shoulder dystocia and maybe that has helped save another kid. 

True Hero.  

The woman I was dating at the exact same time as that shoulder case was the chief resident on the surgery team. She was a serious, no-nonsense, amazing, workaholic doctor, who did everything the right way—i.e. typical surgeon in sharp contrast to yours truly. One evening she was on her way out of the hospital to pick up some take-out food as a friend of ours was in the hospital after his lung collapsed (a different story altogether, he’s a pain in my ass as he rode a one-hundred-mile mountain bike loop in the desert with that lung collapsed). Anyway, on her way out, she gets a call that one of her surgical patients is coding on the sixth floor hallway.  

She drives back, sprints up six flights of stairs (she was an ultra-marathon runner, so that was faster than the elevator) and pushes aside the medicine team crowding around her unconscious patient about to shock his heart (there are surgical and medical teams in the hospital– it’s a serious rivalry, trust me). She then demands a pair of scissors. The internal medicine attending, whose team is technically in charge of the code, starts yelling at her, “What the hell are you doing??!!” as she takes the scissors and cuts the patient’s abdomen open—right in the middle of the hallway! 

The attending keeps shouting at her as she sticks her hand into the patient’s abdominal cavity (she had put gloves on) and clamps his aorta against his spine with her hand. While the attending yells at her and everyone else stands wide-eyed and gawking, she keeps calmly asking the nurse, “Do you have a pulse yet?” And then, the pulse comes back. She is wheeled down to the OR, in her flowing skirt, on top of the patient, on top of a gurney. In the OR, she opens him up, sews his bleeding splenic artery back together and saves his life. This was pre-internet type stories going viral, but it went viral. All the other surgical residency programs around the country heard about it. 

I was at dinner with her older brother a few weeks later, along with a group of his surgery buddies—all of whom were all-star surgical residents. They were bemoaning how much they wish that it had happened to them, that insane lifesaving moment in front of the hospital staff, showing the medical team who was the better doctor, talking about how they would have handled the case. Then her brother looked around the table and said, “You know what though? I never would have had the balls to do it.” And they all agreed, none of them would have either. True hero. 

Just silly moments.

As chief resident we had to be on phone call duty in the hospital to answer medical questions for people calling their sleeping doctors at odd hours. The rationale being that we residents were awake anyway—which was true. One night I received this call: “My husband has had two heart attacks and just had bypass surgery. He’s having chest pain right now and says it feels just like the last two heart attacks. Do you think I should take him to the hospital?”  

“Well, how much do you love your husband?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m joking. You need to hang up and dial 911 immediately.”

Adventures in Manscaping.

Turns out “manscaping” is an actual word. Yours truly was actively manscaping, trying a new electric razor to clean up the nether region, when suddenly the shower water turned bright red. As I mentioned in one of the above cases, I know what blood looks like, and this was definitely blood. A lot of it. I jumped out of the shower thinking to grab a towel, but they were all white, and the bathroom tiles my wife chose are wood and white, and she was coming home with the kids from school any minute. 

I needed to stop the bleeding because there was no way I was letting all three kids wonder what was going on with me bleeding from my midsection and then telling their respective schoolmates that their dad had castrated himself, but then mom killed him for ruining the fancy tile work before he had a chance to bleed to death.

The bleeding was so heavy, that I could not stop it despite roll after roll after roll of gauze pressed to my groin. The only thing that helped was using painful spring-loaded clamps to  squeeze the entire bleeding area – but whenever I tried to look, thinking it had clotted off, I couldn’t see a thing as the bleeding immediately started again. Finally, eight hours later, with everyone asleep, and worrying I really might be slowly bleeding to death, not wanting kids to be traumatized if that happened, and stubbornly refusing to go to the ER to tell a receptionist what was going on, I got out an old suture kit and needle and blindly started putting sutures into the area of bleeding. Eventually the bleeding slowed enough so I could see what was going on and finally sewed up a lacerated vein. Sorry, that was gross.

The risks and rewards of cooking naked.

The rewards are pretty obvious, less cleanup if things splatter, of course – but maybe you’re thinking something else? The risks however can vary – the aforementioned splattering (I personally don’t recommend frying foods naked) for example or slipping. Slipping?? Yes, we had a very nice woman arrive in our clinic after she slipped while cooking. She had been preparing potato salad in the nude, as one might do, and landed right on a potato — which was now lodged in her vagina. No judgment, just informing you of the inherent risks involved with nakedly preparing root vegetables.  

Entire chapters of medical books are dedicated to the techniques for removing the variety of objects that somehow wind up stuck inside people. By far, the majority of culprits are kids shoving candies, buttons, popcorn kernels and other objects up their nose or in their ears.  But yes, adults have their own fun with objects and while x-ray images can be impressive, the stories behind the images are just as entertaining.   

OK, those were a few tales that appear in more detail in my book series, Playing Doctor. If I’m invited back after those stories, I’ll give you 10 more less serious stories, including the time I got to play Sheriff and when a spider bit my penis.

+++

Be sure to listen to Dr. Lawrence’s podcast episode for more, and like he said: stay tuned for fun stories and a Q&A with him.

Have you read Playing Doctor yet?

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ Fun facts about John Stamos.

++ Bryan Johnson on slowing down the aging process.

PLAYING DOCTOR BOOKS:

The post Dr. John Lawrence’s 10 Craziest Moments From Med School appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Ever heard of It Cosmetics?

It’s one of Lauryn’s favorite foundations and you probably first heard her talk about it in this post from 2016 AND see it in the background of all her bathroom selfies.

Jamie Kern Lima on Knowing Your Worth

Recently the founder, Jamie Kern Lima, was on The HIM & HER Show talking about her road to success. And it was. LONG road. Now, you may think that her incredible CC cream hit the shelves, flew into people’s makeup bags and was an overnight success, but as with most entrepreneurs, they have a story to tell.

A story about how hard the road to success really is. How often you experience rejection, how hard you have to work, and how committed you have to be.

Jamie Kern Lima is one of the Forbes’ richest self-made women and the author of Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. She was also a guest teacher with Oprah on The Life You Want live class.

She started It Cosmetics in her living room and grew it into the largest luxury makeup brand in the country. In the episode Jamie discusses how the first product was developed because she couldn’t find anything to cover her rosacea, being on the brink of bankruptcy, being told NO 100s of times, what it was like to get her first YES and how it happened, how staying true to yourself, your vision and what you believe in pays off, and of course, how to discover your self worth.

Jamie’s story is a wild one and when she gets into the details of her first televised experience, you’ll be sweating. Whether you’ve started a business or have an entrepreneurial idea, this episode is a must-listen. It’ll leave you feeling fired up, motivated and worthy of success.

Other topics discussed:

Going from a Denny’s waitress to America’s richest self-made woman.

How she grew her self worth before her net worth.

Exercises to do to grow your self-worth.

The difference between self-confidence and self-worth.

The one thing that’s holding people back from their potential.

The idea that began It Cosmetics.

Learning how to listen to your own intuition.

Her final shot before bankruptcy.

The time she took her makeup off on live TV.

What rejection truly means.

Rewiring your outlook on life.

How to redefine the way you think of yourself.

Let us know your favorite part of the episode below.

In the meantime, you have to try the CC cream and this guide to a no makeup makeup look.

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ Stephanie Shepard on finding purpose and fulfilment.

++ 15 lessons Sahil Bloom would tell his younger self.

IT COSMETICS FAVES:

The post Jamie Kern Lima on Knowing Your Worth appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

You might have seen on Instagram that we recently went to St. Barths for Michael’s birthday AGAIN. Lucky guy. It was an incredible experience and we had the best time. Last year we stayed on yacht but this year we stayed at Villa Neo with all our best friends. It was so fun. We put together a tennis tournament, did Pilates with Bryony, and hung out by the pool.

Let me tell you that I wore The Skinny Confidential NEW Caffeinated Sunscreen the whole time and it’s so perfect for every day. I don’t think I wore foundation over it once actually. It has the best tint and the caffeine lifts, tightens and firms your skin. It was warm in St. Barths so having a mineral sunscreen to protect your skin that’s also non-greasy and lightweight is such a dream. I hope you all love it.

Anyway, been getting tons of DM’s on some looks and you can find it all here, but as always, want things to be easy and laid out for you, so here it is.

St Barths Lookbook and Skincare Essentials

OTHER CLOTHES I BROUGHT:

+ the red tee and skirt pictured above.

+ Olivia Von Halle pajamas

+ Eterne dress that’s sold out, but all their dresses look fab, like this one.

+ Celine jacket that’s sold out, similar here.

+ Spanx red top and skirt set.

+ Caitlin Jaymes bikini bags to keep all my swimsuits organized.

MORE BEAUTY:

Beautyblender

Ice roller

Mouth tape

Agent Natuer body serum

Body sculptor

Refy brow gel

Kosas concealer

Henry Rose Windows Down fragrance

Lux Unfiltered tanning drops

It Cosmetics CC cream

depuffing face oil

Driving gloves

Skinceuticals Discoloration Defense

Skinceuticals CE Ferulic

Dr. Dennis Gross Vitamin C

Skinceuticals Hydrating B5 Gel

Gisou lip oil

Clean Skin Club towels

Mason Pearson brush

Wella hair repair

cuticle oil

Woo Vibez

♡ OTHER ITEMS:

cranberry electrolytes

Athletic Greens travel packs

mango Amino Acid travel packs

Cymbiotika packets

AND most importantly, always good books on a Kindle. Check out all my favorite books here. And if you’re want to know what I packed last year you can find it all here.

What are you buying for spring and summer? Let me know below.

x, lauryn

+ check out these must-have items if you’re traveling with a baby.

++ stalk my latest fashion tips here.

SHOP THE LOOKS:

The post St. Barths Lookbook and Skincare Essentials appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

This post is for all the parents out there.

By no means am I an expert when it comes to traveling with a baby or kids. In fact, I’m more of a practicioner. I mean, let’s try anything that works, right?

One thing I do know is: it’s a lot of work. Today I just want to share with you what’s worked for me in the past.

Most people with babies and young kids avoid travel at all costs – I get it. But sometimes you just must – especially because they fly for free when they’re under 2.

TRAVELING WITH A BABY CHECKLIST:

♡ Invest in a travel stroller.

This tip is brought to you by my husband, Michael. This stroller is lightweight, thin & fits in the overhead compartment of an airplane. When you get in, everyone will roll their eyes at you, but then you’ll collapse it, store it & get on your way.

This fits perfectly into the trunk of Ubers & taxis. It’s not some huge, lumbering piece of equipment.

♡ Have some stickers on hand.

This is so random & I can’t remember who gave me this tip. But bring stickers. This give your baby’s little fingers something to play with. Even if it distracts them for 15-20 minutes, this is a great hack to buy you some time.

Zaza plays with a sticker & loves them. She puts them on her face, then my face, then takes them off. OBVIOUSLY watch your kid closely so they don’t eat them or choke on them. I mean how can you not, they’ll be suffocating you on your lap the whole flight.

Stickers are such an easy thing to bring that take up no space & stimulates their little brains for a bit.

♡ Have food & a sippy cup ready to go.

I like to bring a small food thermos with baby food like blended blueberries, bananas & spinach. In another container I’ll have some sweet potato, mashed banana & avocado.  Healthy fats keeps little tummies full for longer.

I’ll bring a bowl, spoon & bib & give them bites of the food I brought. Most the time I’ll bring a whole banana too & just scoop some into the spoon to give her little bites if they need a snack (or distraction).

There’s also this baby cup that I got because Kylie Jenner recommended it & Zaza loves it. Just keep it empty, then when you get past security fill it up with a bottle of water from the convenience store.

Additionally, I like to buy a bottle of milk too. You never know.

♡ Download music before you get on the plane.

This is something that I learned the hard way. When we were flying to Aspen I went to play Zaza’s favorite song from The Lady & The Tramp soundtrack. It soothes her, calms her & she’s been listening to it since the day she was born.

Anyway, I went to play it & it wouldn’t work! Little did I know I had to download the music to be able to play it on Spotify when we were out of service. I was so fucked. Now I know to download everything I need (or even think I MIGHT need) pre-flight.

If you’re interested in Zaza’s playlist you can scope it here & then download it on Spotify. Trust me, a playlist makes a big difference.

♡ Bring a pacifier, even if your baby doesn’t use one. Hear me out…

Our pediatrician was on the podcast a while back talking all about parental anxiety, childcare, vaccines, & more. He also told me that baby’s ears pop during take off and landing & that’s why they cry most the time. My mind was blown. I didn’t know this- did you?

Having a pacifier for them to suck on can alleviate the pressure.

We love this pacifier & I literally keep them everywhere. In my handbags, in the stroller, in the diaper bag- everywhere. Be sure to bring 2 on the flight with you in case one drops & the disgusting carpeted ground or you lose one. Cause when you need one, YOU NEED ONE.

Other Quick Tips:

♡ dress your baby in comfortable clothes.

♡ bring a blanket from home.

♡ try to align your flight with their sleep schedule.

♡ bring a plastic bag, or some sort of bag for messy stuff, banana peels, wipes, dirty spoons & bowls, etc.

♡ promise diamonds if that’s what it takes.

♡ DO NOT forget your diapers and wipes.

♡ always keep at least one set of spare clothes in your carry on bag.

Do whatever you have to do to get through it. It’s rough up there, let me tell ya. One of the best things about traveling with kids though is that you are called through to board the plane first so you have extra time to get organized (ask the flight attendant if you need help), you can usually skip security lineups and go through the special family travel lane.

Whether you’re flying domestic or international traveling with kids is HARD. Even when everything goes perfectly it’s hard. Just remember to take some deep breaths, go easy on your kids (and yourself) and do what you have to do to survive.

Hope these tips help you grab at least a few moments of peace if you’re going on an upcoming flight with your little one. Praying for you. LOL.

Would love to know all your tips, tricks & hacks for traveling with a baby or just kids in general. Share!

x, lauryn

+ the magical fairy water that makes my baby stop crying. 

++ the must-have accessories every new mom needs.

SHOP THE TRAVEL ESSENTIALS:

The post Tips For Traveling With a Baby appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

In 2020 I started working out at home, like a lot. Just like most of the world, I’m sure.

In the last couple years I’ve been seeing a trainer, Brent Hruska (he has the best energy, more on him here), and he’s helped me get into weightlifting. As I’ve mentioned before I used to only be into Pilates and other workouts that were more ‘calm’ I guess you could say. Recently Pilates is back in my fitness routine, and I’m loving Classical Pilates with Bryony. It’s the best full body workout for rehab and posture. You can listen to her story here. She talks about how she got into Pilates after a car accident and how small changes can lead to big things.

After finding and meeting Brent I quickly realized that weightlifting is so good for women, and Brent is also a big fan of lowering cortisol, but lifting heavy. And I’m lifting heavy. On the pull up bar, on the squat rack, with free weights, the cable machine – I’m surprising myself! So if you’re a woman who is skeptical of starting to lift, these podcasts can shed some light on the myth of getting too bulky: Mari, Brent, Dr. Shannon, & my recent solo on how I lost weight postpartum. Combined with an eating plan from Erik Young, The Flexible Dieting Coach, my body composition is the best it’s ever been.

ANYWAY…

My point is that these days you can find me at Brent’s gym or whatever gym I’m at when we’re away lifting weights. However, I still love working out at home with Kim Kelly, doing Melissa Wood Health videos, Pilates and getting some steps in.

I’m kinda in love with it. Sometimes you just need to save time, stay home, but still get some movement in. That being said, I have some space-saving, strength training exercise equipment I like to use on these days, and I keep it all in a little pink laundry basket (except the ball – I keep that in Zaza’s room because she plays with it).

The Skinny Confidential’s At-Home Workout Equipment Favorites:

♡ WHITE YOGA MAT

I’ve always wanted a white yoga mat because I love how pastel colors look against it. I know that sounds weird, but I love things that make me feel good & when things look good, I feel good.

This mat is sticky in the perfect way. Not sticky, but like grippy. It stays put. So whether you’re doing downward dog, weights, or jumping around on it, it won’t move around & trip you up.

Townes also likes to do tummy time on this. This is a good tip if you’re at home trying to get a workout in but your baby is awake. You gotta find ways to make it work, ya know?

♡ BIG PINK BALL

This ball is not necessary but it’s been great for my back. It’s cute, light pink & kind of has this light metallic finish for a little sparkle. Zaza loves to play with this.

But like I said, I’ve been noticing that I use it for ab exercises & stretches. It’s made a big difference in my back pain because it’s very supportive.

♡ PINK DUMBBELLS

These are just your regular old weights but they’re pink. They come in a ton of colors & also different weights, but I like the 2 or 5 lb ones. These have a nice grip & get the strength training job done. My arms burn after using them, even though I lift way heavier at the gym with Brent. Another good option if you’re just having some easy movement at home is the Bala bangles (that you can also use on your ankles or wrists).

If you aren’t a weight person, I get it. You can always use a band…

♡ RESISTANCE BANDS

There are 2 types of bands I use. One is a set that I use for legs & comes in different shades of pink. Shocker. They come in all different ‘weights’ or resistance level so you can choose what works for you depending on what exercise and muscle groups you’re doing.

The other band is a long one that’s great for arms. You can put this under your feet and do bicep curls, tricep extensions, whatever you want.  You can use it to help you stretch too.

♡ WATER DUMBBELLS

These are for water workouts so if you workout in the pool, these are ideal. They dry really fast & I couldn’t resist getting them. They come in teal & baby pink & remind me of Barbie.

♡ YOGA BLOCKS

These might just be my favorite piece of equipment, aesthetic-wise. They help me squeeze tighter during Pilates & they’re so helpful when you’re doing stretches & need a little extra lift. These are perfect for you if you aren’t super flexible.

Let me set the scene: you’ve finished a workout & you’re about to stretch by standing up, spreading out your legs, feet on the ground & hinging at your waist for a hamstring stretch. Only you can’t touch your hands to ground without bending your knees- ENTER YOGA BLOCKS.

Put the blocks on the ground, put your hands on the blocks, bend over & stretch. They’re very versatile & helpful in so many ways.

♡ CUTE OUTFIT:

To me, looking and feeling your best for a workout makes a big difference. Even if you’re just at home, throwing on a cute exercise outfit can be fun. My recent favourites to workout in: Nike bike shorts, sports bra, Skims onesie, Waverles leggings.

What are your necessities when working out at home? Give me all your equipment, outfit and vibe recs below. You can shop all my recs in one place, right here.

x, lauryn

+ learn how to create a meditation space in your home.

++ stalk all these benefits of weightlifting for women.

AT HOME WORKOUT ESSENTIALS:

The post At-Home Workout Equipment I’ve Been Loving appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.

Did you know that around 10-25% of married couples in the US have been going through the aftermath of being cheated on?

It’s no walk in the park to get over.

It can leave you feeling angry, frustrated, and overthinking everything while your confidence feels like it’s taken a hit. 

It’s a traumatic experience and a total punch in the gut. 

But, here’s the thing… being in a constant loop of overthinking can mess with your mental health AND your future relationships. 

So, let’s break that vicious cycle, shall we? And talk about how to survive a cheater. 

Today, we’re sharing some practical tips to help you all start the healing process. 

How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On

Being cheated on is literally the worst feeling. It’s natural to feel betrayed and hurt. We can’t let that jerk of a person hold us back from living our best lives. 

They’re just not worth it.

Instead of dwelling on the past, let’s focus on the present. 

What brings you joy and fulfillment? Maybe it’s killing it at work, indulging in your hobbies, or working on personal growth. 

Whatever it may be, let’s make that our priority. And, along the way, don’t forget to practice self-care and lean on your loved ones for support. 

You deserve to be happy and loved, and by taking care of yourself and focusing on the present, you can create a bright and fulfilling future for yourself.

Now, we know it’s difficult to stop overthinking in the first place, let alone after being cheated on. 

Just know that everyone’s journey is different. So, let’s not compare ourselves to others or be too hard on ourselves. 

With a little bit of patience, self-care, and the right tools, we can start living our best lives again. That’s why it’s crucial to take steps to reduce overthinking after being cheated on and promote healing. 

Here are some tips that can help us move forward:

♡ Recognize your feelings.

It’s essential to recognize and acknowledge your feelings after being cheated on. It’s okay to feel angry, sad, or betrayed, heck, even to have intrusive thoughts. You’re human, and those emotions are valid.

Don’t try to suppress those feelings. It’ll only lead to overthinking and make the healing process longer.

So go ahead, feel your feelings, and don’t be afraid to let it out. Cry it out, scream it out, do whatever you need to do to release those emotions. It’s all part of the healing process, and you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Feel, heal and move on.

♡ Treat yourself. 

You better believe that practicing self-care is non-negotiable when it comes to dealing with the pain of being cheated on. We need to treat ourselves like the queens we are and prioritize our minds, bodies, and souls.

So, take an herbal bath, get a massage, read a new book, relax with the PINK BALLS face massager, or do whatever makes you feel good. And, don’t forget about your mental health. You could talk to a therapist, practice mindfulness or some meditation, or write in a journal.

Whatever it is, make sure you’re taking care of yourself in every way possible. You deserve to feel good and be happy, so don’t neglect yourself during this healing process.

♡ Take a breather.

Taking a break from the situation can be a game-changer when it comes to dealing with being cheated on. Whether it’s a short-term break like taking a day off work or a long-term break like going on a vacation, it’s essential to use this time to focus on ourselves and our healing process.

During this break, we can clear our minds, reduce overthinking, and prioritize our mental health. We can indulge in activities that make us happy, spend time with loved ones, or simply take some time for ourselves.

Most importantly, make sure you’re using this break to heal and come back stronger than ever. Remember, you deserve to take care of yourself and prioritize your well-being.

♡ Keep good company.

Surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive people is essential when it comes to overcoming negative thoughts and emotions. And, it can make us feel more grateful during hard times. That’s why it’s important to seek out the company of friends and family who uplift us and make us feel good about ourselves.

But listen, it’s not just about surrounding ourselves with good vibes. We also need to set boundaries and communicate our needs with those around us. Let them know how they can support us during this time and what we need from them. By doing so, we create a strong support system that helps us through the healing process. 

Just remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who make you feel good and support you through thick and thin. So, surround yourself with positivity, and don’t be afraid to communicate your needs.

♡ Set boundaries.

Alright, let’s get real here. When it comes to dealing with being cheated on, we need to set some boundaries. These boundaries can be with our ex-partner and with ourselves. It’s no surprise that you might have trust issues with the person who cheated on you. 

For instance, we might set boundaries around communication with our ex, like cutting off contact or only communicating through a third party. This helps us avoid any unnecessary drama or emotional turmoil that might come from direct contact with our ex. It can be something as simple as telling someone that you are not in the place to take any relationship advice at the moment. Or saying no to plans so you can take time for yourself.

We can’t forget about setting boundaries with ourselves too. We need to limit the amount of time we spend thinking about the situation or even stalking our ex on social media. By setting these boundaries, we can protect ourselves and our healing process. Plus, nobody has time for any extra negativity or drama.

♡ Journal, journal, journal.

Journaling is a powerful tool for processing emotions and reducing overthinking. By writing down our feelings and thoughts in a journal, we can gain some serious clarity and perspective on the situation. 

When we’re dealing with the gravity of the fact that our partner cheated, our emotions can be all over the place. One minute we’re angry, the next we’re sad, and before we know it, we’re spiraling into a frenzy of overthinking. 

But, with journaling, we can take a step back and reflect on our emotions in a more structured way. It helps us process our feelings and make sense of what we’re going through.

Grab a cute journal and good pen, and start writing down your thoughts and feelings. It’s a powerful tool for healing and gaining clarity. And who knows, you might even discover some hidden insights about yourself along the way.

♡ Get physical.

Exercise is an incredible way to release pent-up emotions and reduce stress. Not only that, but it can also help us feel more confident and empowered. The key is to find a form of exercise that we enjoy and make it a regular part of our routine.

Whether it’s yoga, running, or weightlifting, finding an exercise routine that works for you can make all the difference. Being in good physical shape is a great way to release emotions and get out any frustration we might be feeling. Plus, it’s a total confidence booster.

There’s nothing like feeling strong and capable after a good workout. Prioritize your physical health and make exercise a regular part of your routine. It’s a powerful way to take care of our mental health too. You may even discover a new passion for fitness. 

Remember, it’s important to be kind and patient with ourselves during this process. Journaling and getting our sweat on are amazing ways to reduce overthinking and promote healing. Whether you decide to stay in the relationship or not, surrounding yourself with trusted friends so you can get past it is a good idea. 

In the end, dealing with being cheated on is awful. But, with a little bit of effort and some self-love, we can overcome overthinking and reclaim our power. 

x, The Skinny Confidential team

+ check out the power of setting intentions.

++ learn how to practice gratitude when times are tough.

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The post How To Stop Overthinking After Being Cheated On appeared first on The Skinny Confidential.